The Curse of Social Validation

The instinctive nature of social validation is fascinating. It is the crux of social connections and relationships. At its extreme, the need for social approval manifests as desperation. Some people give up their whole personality just to be liked by the crowd. Every new interaction reminds me of my struggle with social validation. The notion that all our peers can accept us is delusional yet many of us try to be a chameleon. Blending in seems much safer than sticking out but I always found it hard to fit in. Being a black sheep is terrifying, especially in college. Validation from the right crowd can slingshot us to greater peaks but validation from the wrong crowd can make us hit the depths of despair.

The need for social validation made me a puppet with strings and led me to make stupid decisions. Riding the high of social validation was easy, but I pondered over the self-betrayal in the quietness of solitude. 

Knowing that this is a universal experience reassured me and helped me cut the strings. If you too are cursed just know that you can take back control as well. These principles helped me to break free and I hope they help you too:

1. Develop mental resilience to get through tough times of social anguish.

2. Learn to say no.

3. Surround yourself with people who value you.

4. Practice mindfulness through journaling.

5. Practice self-compassion.

Navigating social spaces as a misfit is scary, but when you get over the need for external validation, the anxiety you feel will be replaced with contentment and the need to put up an act with authenticity. In time, we all find our people, so let’s learn how to truly be ourselves by breaking free from the curse of social validation.